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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28485729">how it begins pt II</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/camiii/pseuds/camiii'>camiii</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hinterland [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Succession (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:20:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28485729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/camiii/pseuds/camiii</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can I come in?”</p><p>Stewy briefly considers saying no, his fingers flexing against the edge of the door. He could slam the door shut, bounce the solid oak against Roman’s perfect fucking nose and go on with his evening. Life. Whatever</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Stewy Hosseini/Roman "Romulus" Roy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>hinterland [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2289173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>how it begins pt II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am SO late to the party but I watched all of Succession in a few days and Roman/Stewy is just galaxy brain levels of potential. I couldn't not.</p><p>this makes very little sense if you don't live in my head where at least half a dozen oneshots in the same series as this one live rent free and keep me up at night but OH WELL.</p><p>un-beta'd. sorry about that.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
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</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Can I come in?”</p><p>Stewy briefly considers saying no, his fingers flexing against the edge of the door. He could slam the door shut, bounce the solid oak against Roman’s perfect fucking nose and go on with his evening. Life. Whatever.</p><p>“I need to talk to you. I know-” </p><p>Roman looks awful. As if he’s been too tightly wound and stretched too thin at the same time. His shirt is wrinkled, the cuffs folded messily. </p><p>“Please?” </p><p>Stewy’s not sure he’s ever heard the word ‘please’ fall from Roman’s lips before unless drenched in sarcasm, or spilling out of him when Stewy’s three fingers deep and with his lips stretched around Roman’s dick. He relents, despite his better judgement and takes a step back to let Roman through the door. It’s a godawful idea. It’s been nine days since he last saw Roman and he’s a pathetic asshole for keeping track in the first place.</p><p>Roman heads for the sitting area but remains standing by the couch, looking towards the skyline visible through the floor to ceiling windows that line Stewy’s living room. His features are illuminated by the flickering lights from the muted talk show playing on the tv but even in the dim light Stewy can see how tense his shoulders are. Roman is too quiet, too still, and it’s so unlike him it makes Stewy’s chest hurt.</p><p>Stewy ignores the desperate pounding of his own heartbeat, the desperate twitch in his fingers that’s screaming at him to reach out and touch, and instead grabs the remote and turns the television off. Then he flicks on the lamp next to him on the side table before taking a seat on the armrest of the couch. He crosses his arms over his ches and digs his fingers into his biceps to keep himself doing something monumentally stupid like reach out. “You said you wanted to talk.” He prompts, when the silence gets too much.</p><p>Roman nods, a short jerk of his head, his hand clenching into a fist at his side. “Yeah, I-” He stops and Stewy rises in alarm when Roman makes a wounded sound, as if he’s choking.</p><p>“Are-”</p><p>Roman shakes his head, collapsing onto the couch with his face buried in his hands. Stewy can hear him struggling to catch his breath and it’s giving him flashbacks to Argestes. The ice cold, sinking feeling in his gut is the same too and he could laugh at how they find themselves coming full circle if it wasn’t so fucking awful. </p><p>He waits, hovering by the other end of the sofa, watching Roman’s trembling form as he struggles to get his breathing back under control. Eventually, Stewy watches him exhale slowly, rubbing his palms over his face and pushing his hair back but keeping his head lowered.</p><p>“I want to fix this.” Roman’s voice is rough, and he clears his throat before saying it again. “I don’t know-” </p><p>He trails off, and Stewy can see the way his jaw works as he swallows. </p><p>“I’m fucked in the head, I fucking know that, okay? I’m <em>shit</em>. I’m a fucking shitty person and it never used to bother me before because, fuck it, you know? Who cares? Then you just-” He throws an arm out, gesturing wildly. “And it was- I keep treating you like shit because I’m- I’m terrified, okay? I’m so fucking scared and I’m tired of being a fuck up. I want-” another shaky inhale. “I want you.” </p><p>Stewy could swear his treacherous fucking heart stops beating for a second. He lowers himself onto the other end of the couch, swallowing hard. “Rome.”</p><p>“I can’t stop thinking about you.” Roman laughs, but it’s brittle and hollow. “I’ve been fucking pining over you like a little bitch, it’s <em>pathetic</em>. I thought not seeing you would make it go away but it hasn’t and I don’t- I shouldn’t even be here-”</p><p>Roman gets to his feet and Stewy follows, panic rising in his chest. No. </p><p>“Wait a minute, for fuck’s sake. You can’t just drop this on me and then leave.” He blurts out, not sure he’d actually be able to stop himself from tackling Roman to the floor if he moves another foot towards the door. Stewy hasn’t tackled anyone since lacrosse practice in high school but he’d give it his best if he had to. There’s a headache building behind his eyes and a small part of him is so, so tired of things being this hard but he knows he doesn’t want Roman to leave. Roman’s right about one thing, it’s terrifying. One step too close to the edge of the precipice. “I missed you.”</p><p>It’s almost comical how quickly Roman turns his head towards him. For a moment the hope on his face is almost too much.</p><p>“You’re not the only one who’s been a miserable bastard.” Stewy admits.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“It’s Friday and I’m sitting on my couch watching the Tonight Show. I’m not even drunk.”</p><p>Roman’s lip quirk into a smile but it dies quickly. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”</p><p>“Do you think I’m some sort of relationship expert?” Stewy scoffs, only realizing when the word is already out that he just went <em>there</em>. Holy shit. “Dude, I’m fucking clueless.” </p><p>He walks slowly up to Roman, almost holding his breath as he, fucking finally, catches Romans’ hand in his, his other hand on Roman’s waist. “Come here.” Stewy says, stepping closer still as he pulls Roman in. </p><p>He’s not sure if he’s telling him, or asking. Or begging. It could backfire, he knows, Roman is iffy with touch at the best of times. When he’s in a mood it’s a little bit like handling dynamite with the fuse already lit, yet Stewy can no longer suppress the urge to try and comfort. Roman looks exhausted beneath the tension; weariness etched into every line of his face. Stewy wonders when he last got a proper night’s sleep. </p><p>He’s almost holding his breath, relieved when Roman finally moves; wrapping his arms around Stewy’s back and hiding his face against Stewy’s shoulder. Stewy hugs him back, wrapping one hand against the back of Roman’s neck, squeezing lightly, finally daring to breathe again when Roman practically melts against him. </p><p>“We can figure it out.” Stewy says, quietly, brushing a hand across Roman’s trembling back when Roman’s breath hitches softly. They’re good together, somehow. They could be. Please let them try.</p><p>He expects Roman to pull back at any second and is surprised when seconds tick by without Roman making a move. Encouraged, Stewy turns his head until his nose is pressed against Roman’s temple, breathing in the familiar scent of whatever expensive hair products Roman uses. The kiss is unexpected, but when Roman initiates it Stewy doesn’t think twice about kissing him back. He licks into Roman’s mouth; shivering when Roman’s thumb brushes over the pulse point on his neck. They’re rudely interrupted by Roman’s face splitting on a yawn so big it looks almost painful.</p><p>Stewy thumbs at the bag under Roman’s left eye. “When was the last time you slept?”</p><p>“I don’t know, uhm, Wednesday?”</p><p>“For fuck’s sake-”</p><p>“Well, there’s been a lot going on and, like-” He waves his hand through the air between them.</p><p>“Are you staying?”</p><p>Roman shrugs, scratches the back of his neck. “I mean, yeah, I could. I’ll be honest though I’m fucking exhausted but I could probably manage half a boner or something.”</p><p>Stewy raises an eyebrow. “As appealing an offer as that was, I was thinking more along the lines of eight to ten hours of uninterrupted sleep.”</p><p>Roman scoffs. “Ten hours? I’m not a toddler.”</p><p>“You have the patience of one.” Stewy easily side steps Roman’s half hearted attempt to pinch his shoulder. “Weak.”</p><p>“Shut up, Hosseini.” Roman mutters but he’s fighting a smile and Stewy has to kiss him again.</p><p>“You can say no.” He reminds Roman, still not convinced Roman might not just turn around and bolt any second. They’ve never shared a bed for longer than it takes to orgasm, Hell, Stewy can count the times they’ve even made it to a bed on one hand. </p><p>Roman nods. “I know.”</p><p>When Roman follows him as he flicks off the lights and heads for the bedroom, Stewy suspects his heart might be growing too big to fit inside his ribcage. </p><p>Something changes in the air once they step over the threshold. Roman’s watching the bed, a small frown on his face. He’s fiddling with the rolled up cuff of his shirt, tension creeping back into the line of his shoulders.</p><p>“Do you want a t-shirt or something?”</p><p>“Sure.” Roman replies, airily, but Stewy knows it was the right question to ask when Roman’s fidgeting stops.</p><p>“Through there.” He nods towards the walk-in closet. “Bottom drawer has some workout stuff, the middle one is all t-shirts too. You can choose whatever you want. I’m gonna brush my teeth.”</p><p>He leaves praying Roman won’t actually be gone when he comes back. Once he’s done brushing his teeth he takes a leak and washes his hands, then searches through the drawers for a second toothbrush. He’s almost holding his breath as he exits the bathroom, but finds Roman hovering by the bed. He’s down to his boxers and well worn, maroon Harvard t-shirt that Stewy has had since college.</p><p>“Here, I found this.” Stewy hands him the spare toothbrush he’d found behind his backup bottle of lube.</p><p>“A leftover from one of your conquests?”</p><p>“They don’t spend the night. Besides, I haven’t-” He should have run with the joke, fucking Hell. “There hasn’t been anyone, in a while. Not since we-”</p><p>“Oh. Right.” </p><p>Roman’s not quite meeting his eyes but his fingertips brush against Stewy’s wrist as he walks by, featherlight and barely there. The door closes with a quiet click behind him, and Stewy allows himself a few seconds of freaking out. He pulls his sweater off as he heads for his walk-in closet. Normally he wouldn’t wear clothes to bed, but even though Roman hasn’t run off yet Stewy has a feeling him getting naked would be the equivalent of a starting pistol. He settles for a clean pair of boxers, hoping it’s enough of a middleground. </p><p>They both step back into the bedroom at the same time, and Stewy gets the pleasure of watching Roman’s eyes darken as they travel down his body. Roman hesitates for a second and then walks straight up into Stewy’s personal space and catches his lips in a kiss.</p><p>“I thought you said you were tired.” Stewy mumbles against his lips, his hand wrapped around Roman’s elbow.</p><p>“Mhm.” Roman hums, kissing his way down Stewy’s neck and making him shiver</p><p>He’s considering his options when Roman suddenly yawns again, and this time when Stewy bursts out laughing, Roman is successful in his attempt to pinch Stewy’s waist.</p><p>“Ow! Alright, Sleeping Beauty, let’s go to bed.” Stewy chuckles, rubbing at the sore spot. “I’m, uh, usually on this side.”</p><p>Roman nods, wordlessly heading for the right side of the bed. Stewy gets under the covers and turns on his side, watching Roman carefully do the same. Roman lays on his back, throwing a brief look over at Stewy.</p><p>“I’ll-” Stewy gestures towards the lamp on his bedside table, cursing his own awkwardness. </p><p>The room falls into darkness. Stewy feels the mattress dip as Roman shifts his weight, and once his eyes have adjusted to the darkness he can make out the shape of Roman underneath the covers. He’s on his side, but to Stewy’s surprise Roman hasn’t turned his back on him but lies facing Stewy, even if he’s keeping firmly to his side of the bed.</p><p>Stewy exhales deeply. He stretches his legs out, comfortable once he’s almost laying on his front. He can hear Roman breathing softly next to him. “Okay?” He mumbles, the words half swallowed by the pillow.</p><p>“Okay.” Roman confirms, after a beat.</p><p>Stewy has barely registered Roman moving, but then Roman’s fingers brush against his own. Stewy flexes his hand, catching one of Roman’s fingers underneath his own. Not quite holding hands but close enough.</p><p>Not quite but getting there.</p><p><br/>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><br/>Thanks for reading<br/>Come say hi on <a href="http://camiii.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> or share <a href="https://camiii.tumblr.com/post/640199624599240704">the fic post?</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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